I have a few.
Camera shuttering sounds. I don’t need to hear your camera, dude. Yeah I know most porn is produced and exploited but, don’t need to hit it home doing this. Here is what I don’t get, why not use inexpensive drone cameras to take footage or take shots? Who the fuck needs stupid people doing it?
Cameramen muffled or hearing. I don’t need to hear you either. I don’t give a fuck if you’re enjoying it, just shut the hell up.
Sped-up previews or even sped-up videos because reasons? It just takes me out of the immersion, if there were any to be had.
Exaggerated sounds and moans. “UNNHHH!” “AHHH!!” “HNNN!” “OOOOOO!” slrshrlshlp splsplslspl moist sounds Just fucking mute it. Don’t watch porn for audio.
Seeing that guy in a scene. You know, that awkward fucking guy who is part of the scene who just idly stands there just jerking off all like “nhhn yeah hrrr yeah oh so into this” I want a series of porn videos, where it is just beating that guy down.
All the stupid “step-sis/bro” crap. I don’t need some disgusting back story just get busy.
There’s been an alarming rate of people who are into incest. Like, the lengths they’ll go to try and watch things that consist of actual relatives.
I don’t get it. Well okay, maybe except already inbred cousin-fuckers, but I don’t get how any rational or normal person could be into it.
High Definition video Is the single worst thing to happen to porn. I need a little bit of mystery, who actually wants video fidelity so high you can see every skin tag and ingrown hair?
I mostly dislike professional porn except on the odd occasion. In amateur porn, my biggest gripe is people who clearly did not check the angle or distance of the camera before recording, so 90% of the video is the dude’s thigh moving back and forth.
Even the under-the-balls angle is better. At least I like the balls sometimes.
Just the fakeness of it
This. Anything that looks like pro porn actors, high quality expensive filming equipment, “scenes”, etc – all that is instant limp-dick.
The best is when a totally amateur person/couple/group have hi-rez, hi-quality 60 FPS cam and are naturally exhibitionists and sexual freaks.
Support small time pr0n producers! Fight corporatism!
Pulling that stupid ahegao face. I don’t know who that’s for, but it’s definitely not me.
It’s for coomers and people who fantasize about lolis who call underaged-drawn female characters their ‘waifu’.
And it should damn well be a kinkshame because of that kind of connection.
OH NO! THE LOLI DEFENDERS WERE REPLYING!
Saying everyone who likes ahegao likes loli is a massive stretch.
There’s not really any loli connections besides it being related to hentai.
The face actually started in live action Japanese porn in the 1990s.
What do you base this broad assumption on?
Fauxcest. It didn’t use to be so prolific.
I think there’s a lot of it in particular because it’s easy to produce (just add a few lines of dialogue about it) and it’s easy to ignore if people dislike it but aren’t outright disgusted by it (“yeah it’s gross, but I know they’re acting and that’s not part of it for me”).
Well I’m an only child, so it’s not just conceptually repulsive, it’s distracting and unrelatable.
I know, I’m being spoiled. Just one more thing I didn’t have to share with a sibling eh?
Go real or go home, bro!
I will vomit directly into your eyeballs
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
Production value.
I’ll take a video recorded by a married couple with an iPhone over a bunch of fake people in a fake scenario faking how much fun they are having.
I would have no problem with pornographic sex scenes in properly produced films, with a proper script and everything. But I have no interest in professional production values if all it brings is better lighting and a ton of makeup and fake moans.
Man, you would love Dexter. Each sex scene is borderline hardcore porn, and there are a lot of sex scenes.
I only know of Dexter, the series about the serial killer wit very few sex scenes, and Dexter’s lab, the cartoon with I think and hope no sex scenes
I’ll generalize to say that what you’re looking for is a genuine connection between the performers. It not only shows better consent on set (it’s hard to break consent and still have a genuine connection), but it’s just better in general. This doesn’t always happen in amateur porn, but it’s more likely. It does happen at larger studios, but they usually have to be run better.
One thing that I think Kink dot com pioneered was showing an out of character interview with the performers ahead of time. Adulttime has picked this up as well. They sometimes cut it for the versions that go on tube sites (either shortening it or removing it altogether), and I think that forms part of the argument that, yes, you should pay for porn if it’s within your means. If you like something coming out of a studio on a tube site, they probably have a lot more of it that doesn’t even show up outside their pay site.
And ass warts. Don’t forget about that.
Face slapping, choking, any kind of violent nonsense. I hate it so much…
And when the people won’t shut the fuck up for two minutes…
I second
Anytime the girl says shit like, “Oh yeah baby do you like fucking my pussy!? Does my little pussy feel so good!?”
STOP IT. STOP. IT. PLEASE. UUUUUGH. So not appealing.
Removed by mod
slapping. no idea why that is so prevalent. I swear im not looking for it.
And spitting into mouths. And onto dicks. I mean if you’re doing a whole degradation thing then fine. Not going to say it’s never hot, but if it’s just sex between two people and not hate fucking, count me out. Also throat fucking until they either puke or just snot comes out of everywhere.
And if you’re going to do degradation, I need a pre- and post-sex interview of the bottom (edit: I originally said girl, but that’s just how I roll, same would apply in reverse—I’m just not excited by femdom) saying how they are into it/loved it. Degradation with full consent and proper aftercare can be hot but I rarely see that. I think there’s like one company that does it right. (And no I don’t remember the company because frankly I don’t watch all the much porn these days. That company might’ve gone under a decade ago for all I know.)
you know its funny. I love a good throatpie but for some reason I see the spitting in the mouth and thing. ewww. Then again you think about sex without being horny and in the throes and its like. ewwww.
Male moans, it’s why when I do watch porn I watch it muted, don’t have this issue with doujins and fics.
Males suck at moaning, they just do.
Should’ve been clue number 1 I wasn’t male.
Choking. I spend a fair amount of time in kink clubs, and the choking you see casually thrown into random porn would get you thrown out of all of them; including the ones that allow choking.
Love being online, where people can casually say “I spend a fair about of time in kink clubs” and nobody bats an eyelid.
Fake moaning. Fake dirty talk
Jackhammer fucking. I dont want to see some woman have her cervix be pile drived into the ground.
The view from behind where we get to see some ugly dudes fucking hairy balls dangling.
Are some of my top ones, but honestly I dont like professional porn in general. Its just so fake.
I’d rather watch a grainy video of a couple amatures absolutely loving what their doing, than watch some stuff terrible play acting profesional porn in 4k.
You managed to nail about every peeve of mine in one short comment. Bravo.
Just curious, is your comment about fake moaning and fake dirty talk apply to every single video or do some actually do ok?
The only ones I’ve seen do it okay, are the amature videos that arent faking it.
but I have not watched every porn ever produced, so I’m sure there are some out there where the faking isnt miserable and bad.
See, I watch gay porn, so that under view with balls is actually super hot. Lol. And I quite like the pile driving/jackhammer fucking in real life, so that doesn’t bother me, either. But I don’t like professional porn, I like amateur stuff. And the fake moaning suuuuucks
if we’re talking specifically about dick and ball focus… I want my dick and balls to be cute, and shaved, if i’m gonna be looking at them. I dont want to feel like i’m watching Sasquatches sex tape lol
That’s a fair point. Lol. I do prefer shaved, or at least trimmed, but in porn I don’t mind hairy so much. I don’t care for it in real life when it’s in my mouth, though. Hairy balls are unpleasant in the mouth
Yeah, nothing worse than getting hair in your teeth or having a wiry pube go up your nose and stab your brain.
Like, you joke, but straight up, I despise getting pubes in my mouth. Fucking things are worse than popcorn kernal shells.
- Prolonged close-ups and shitty camera angels in general. Do I really need to see 47 seconds of a dick sliding in and out of a pussy in 1080p?
- Seeing how badly porn actresses have aged, it seems you either quit while you’re ahead, or move to Vegas get bolt on tits and lipfillers and gain 20 pounds, there seems to be no in between.
- Blood, I see even the tiniest speck of crimson red on the screen and I’m out.
I’d say everything else is just specific to taste. Something not being my kink doesn’t ruin a video for me, it just doesn’t interest me in the first place.
… shitty camera angels…
Shitty camera angels are the worst! Like, why even consider an Archangel when there are Seraphim and Cherubim out there!
When the guy talks nonstop through the whole video. If that’s your thing then go for it and enjoy but it just makes the whole thing difficult to enjoy for me. The guy always sounds like some neckbeard who is getting laid for the first time in his life and thinks he’s supposed to recite every cringe line from every bad porn he’s ever seen. You’re not who I’m here for dude 🤮
There’s one particular video I’ve always had in mind. It’s with a Czech actress who variously went by Nella, Jackie, or Jana. She mostly did lesbian and solo porn (and was big in the early days of Sapphic Erotica), but there is one MF video she did.
There was a guy behind the camera with a cigar who would not shut the fuck up through the whole scene. The guy she was actually fucking for the scene seemed fine, but the camera/director/producer/whatever needed to leave. There’s a point where she looks like she’s about to come while also wanting to punch the guy in the neck. You can’t help but think that this scene was why she only did scenes solo or with other women from then on.
I bet there’s actually a market for videos of women beating up cameramen
That particular one would have made piles of cash if she had done that.
