Wugmeister

Dad had a friend with the exact same name as him in high school that he he almost killed once. They had dug a big hole, filled it with fireworks, covered it in gasoline, and then lit it on fire. This resulted in a big boom, and he couldn’t locate his friend for a bit afterwards. Took him a while for his eyebrows to grow back after that. I suppose this is proof that I got my dumbass genes from his side.

This

It sounds like your fellow wagies have been conditioned to shun anything that smells even a little “socialist”. Paternity leave not only smells like communism, but also wokeism by daring to suggest that the man of the house should maybe share the responsibility of taking care of their baby.

You are bravely doing the radical feminist work of daring to care for your wife who is likely going to have trouble with either holding her bladder (if she squeezed your new family member out through her pelvis) or with standing up and holding your baby (if she got a c-section). How do you feel knowing most of your coworkers wouldn’t do this for their wife?

Microwave the water on high for ten minutes, drop the teabag in, and run for my life